i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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