I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize