I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
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