my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize