Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
