You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
vagina is talking i cant
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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