ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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