Bisexual people are plain selfish.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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