I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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