absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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