I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
