we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
