And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
