I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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