When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
