I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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