This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
