so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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