Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
My pussy is not your playground.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
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