Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
