I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
