How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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