38 yer olds are good kisserssss
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
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