And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize