dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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