dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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