Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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