she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize