every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
not ubering you a puppy
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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