chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
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