I wanna passion pit in your ass
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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