So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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