Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
