...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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