Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize