And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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