what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
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