I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
