How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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