you would pick up someone in the library
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
