he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Randomize
