do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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