i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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