$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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