OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
i now understand why vodka
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
