You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
