i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
