Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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