I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
