you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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