Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Let's get the cat blown out
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
