you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
