Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Randomize
