I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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