He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
