Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Randomize
