She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
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