And the cops told us we were all naked.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize