and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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