i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Randomize
