so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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