did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
