Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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