She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
