sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
