Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
