We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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