My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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