i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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