She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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