Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
