Plan B is the new Plan A
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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