You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
