how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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