There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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