I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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