Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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