Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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