you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
