all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
