Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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