Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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